cant i do whatever is beyond my ability?

although i know i shouldnt brood over the past, but i cant help but to cry
i know i shouldnt ask for more when the input is nt high
i know i can do better with my ability, but i refuse to.
i know i am capable of any challenges, perhaps next year.

i promise. i year 3 i am gonna giv my full.
i am gonna get all the crit panels eyes on me.
i am gonna wow them with my creative juice.

perhaps.

i am in my depression state.
i love to compare.
compare with those who score same or higher than me
but, i feel so lousy then.
i feel that i havent even reach the line yet.

now, everyone is catching up
but i am just doing a slow jog.
why cant i run?
why cant i take over everyone
why must this happen to me
aint i doing fine in last sem?
WHY

what am i gonna do now.
sigh.
i dont want to disappoint my parents.

how does it happen to me at the first place
is it cos i care too much of how other people fare?
shouldnt i just compete with myself.
shouldnt i just do whatever i can


ARGHHHHHHH....


:( tears..

oke. CAKES i am oke...
thanks for the care..love<3


so submissio is over
no more late night sleep, no more torturing, no more facing the comp for 24 hr, no more waiting, no moer stress, no more trouble, no more quearelling...
hahaha... yesh!! the day has come..
FINALLY. i am FREEEEEE..


YESH YESH YYESH..


sorri peeps. i am overly happy..

love
sel

valentine's day is not for me

i guess i hav to spend my valentine's alone. sigh.
i am bad. i am a bad girl. hate me will you.
i myself don't know why i turned out this way.
sigh.



this year began with a bad months.
hopefully it will turn out better.


sign out
sel

dream

last night i dreamt that i cut my thumb. and i cant do my model.
then another dream in the same night. i trip and fall when i was carrying my model. and then my model crush - i cry.
hahahaa.. too stress till cant sleep well..

so today submitted the second portion of the project.. left one major one and it will be over.
i have been rushing and so called doing my model till i didnt update..
sorry readers (if there's any)hahaha...

oke, so my lappi died. i declared it RIP on the 9th of janyary 2007. here a word of thank you for it.

dear lappi,
thank you for accompanying my through thick and thin for 3.5 years, thank you for working your heart out when i need some memories. thank you for accompanying me to stalk on other people's life. thank you for all.. im gonna miss you and remember you for the rest of my life. you will be burried in my deepest memory. R.I.P 9th jan 2007. rest well.:)

love you
sel


ok.. so this means that i can get a new lap top!!!! wohoooo...:) i think i am gonna get a fujitshu one for change. tho i like sony bt the price is too steep. and i heard fujitshu is better. am i an evil master?lol.. but i got to wait for my parents to come then i get. hehhehehehe..

so i have oredered the bag le sport sac for 18 bucks.. its cheap..where else can o find a cheaper bag...haha...lovely.
thanks nat for the trouble..

NAT I WANNA CUT HAIR.
do contact me. most prolly next next weekend oke...

i love you people.
min nat novi kris myboy my schoolmate cleapatra brother parents everyoneeeee..

have u all watch the american idol younger version of simon?.. they look ALIKE. they are all so cute.

oke i think i need sleep now.



-end now-

love
sel

oh well.. its a new year. i havent been hardworking lately. hahaha..
i cant be this way. its a new year and one of my new year resolution is to be more hard working and to score my best in order nt to disappointed my mummy and daddy whom i adore very much.
oke. so school will start next week.
NEXT WEEK.
so i have to start doing my project now, in order nt to suffer later.
BUT.
i just cant bring myself to do this.
how.

OH.i really like the le sport sac bag. cus it has cute prints.
i hope nat gettting it soon cus i really wanna get it soon. bt i hav to pay for the postal fee if i only buy 1.hahaha.. nat sweetheart can u get one pleaseeee? * watery eye and hands claps together to beg* - IMAGINE THAT.
lol

today is the first day of ccf.
and i have to wear heels.
damn.
my feet hurts after 9 to 5 long stand.
urgh..
so tomorrow im nt going to wear heels anymore.
lalalla...
hehe..

oh..im so random.
I LOVE MY habibi - sweetheart in arabic language.

i think i stop here.
update next time oke.
gotta do my viz viz..


ciao everyone

shokram for those who have read my boring blog.
its dying soon...



love
sel